I feel a fog. I am okay and doing my best to stay positive, but I am so foggy! This is my mind trying to check out at least a few times a day. I think that it is okay that I do that from time to time. The world’s silence is the loudest noise I have ever heard. I know...it sounds insane. But, I do not like this type of quiet. I am so aware of the eerie silence manifesting from the pandemic, that the impact of it all is equivalent to the impact of piercing cries.

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I miss that chatter while walking around campus. I actually miss running into people unexpectedly. I miss going to my sorority house for lunch every day. I miss randomly stopping by my friends’ house on walks through East Campus, just to chat for ten minutes, and to always be given an unexpected hug goodbye. I used to laugh at all the hugs we gave each other. It would have appeared to others that we were reuniting after a few months, due to how warmly we treated each other. Now, I am glad I gave and received hugs. You really can never have too many hugs! You also are never wasting time by talking and interacting with friends for a few minutes. What I would give to break the loudness of our heavy world right now, so I could run on over to my friends’ house to chat and embrace all of them, just for a few moments. That would be significantly better than facetiming. However, facetiming breaks the noise a little bit. Writing, like I am doing right now, does the trick too. Lying in bed for 15 more minutes after I get up, breaks the noise because I create a list in my head. It is like a loose schedule I make, of how I am going to go about the day. It ends up helping me stay more present than not; although I am still allowed to check out. I put that in my schedule too! I used to not be able to do this.

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I used to not be able to do this during a time where there was no COVID-19. I have come a long way with my mental health. I’m grateful that I can cope better with everything thrown at me. But, what if this pandemic was during Fall 2018 or Spring 2019? I do not know how I would have dealt with it. So, I think of the people that were struggling mentally before this all happened. My heart goes out to them. We need to think of those fighting the virus, but we cannot forget those that are fighting their heads. So please, at least stay in the present from time to time. Do this, to remember the faces of everyone you love. Call one of them. Keep repeating this process as much as you can, for we are fighting two battles.